Polygamy is a widespread traditional practice in Kenya. A man feels he is someone (i.e. a full man) if he has more than one wife! It is a status symbol. There have been a variety of attitudes in the professing Christian Churches.
Very soberly, we make the following observations from the Bible:
1. Polygamy was practised in the Old Testament
Many men had more than one wife: for example, Lamech had two (), Esau had three (26:34, 28:9), Jacob had two sisters as wives and had children with their maids, Gideon had many (), Elkanah had two (), David had six () and then added more (), Solomon incredibly had 700 (). Not all of these were wicked men. Yet in many cases the rivalry between wives and their offspring is clearly revealed.
2. Polygamy was not openly condemned, as was adultery
David was not condemned for having more than one wife, but for committing adultery with the wife of another man, Bathsheba (). So it seems that polygamy was not considered to be an adulterous relationship.
3. It is possible that the Law of Moses tolerated polygamy, as it did divorce
Jesus says that "because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so" (). Therefore at best polygamy was allowed or tolerated, as was divorce, although it never was God's purpose for marriage.
4. Monogamy is the standard for marriage in both Testaments
From the beginning, from the creation, it is quite clear that marriage is to be between one man and one woman as God brought one woman to one man and united them (). The definition of marriage that "the man and his wife become one flesh" (2:24) further confirms monogamy. The teaching of Jesus about divorce also forbids polygamy as it goes back to creation (). Jesus has only one bride, the church ()!
5. A church leader cannot be a polygamist
In the qualifications for an Overseer (Elder/Pastor) or a Deacon, he must be "the husband of one wife" (). It is the will of God that if a man is married, he be the husband of only one wife.
6. May a polygamist be baptized and become a full church member?
Any Christian who takes an additional wife ought to be put out of fellowship until there is clear repentance. But what about those who became polygamous before they became Christians? We believe that requiring them to put away their wives is not a very Christian course of action. Leaving such a woman, and her children, destitute would appear to be a worse evil than the polygamous relationship.
If a man or woman who is converted while in a polygamous marriage, he/she ought to be baptized as a genuine Christian and have all the rights of a church member. However, both must publicly confess that they know polygamy is not the will of God and promise not to add another wife. The polygamous man must also assure the church that while he remains polygamous he will never seek office in the church.